Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
