she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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