I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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