We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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