I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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