why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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