i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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