I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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