On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
