please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
