Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
high people should be assigned attendants
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
