dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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