I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
