Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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