I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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