i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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