The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
