Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Can you bring me the toilet please
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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