she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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