we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize