Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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