So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
