last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
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