I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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