i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize