Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
