Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
