Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
