I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
