So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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