$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
