Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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