I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
