Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
