I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
