my mouth tastes like poor choices
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
