Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
