...so i touched it.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
