she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
