I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
