His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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