jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
