He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
