Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
