He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
