She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
