just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
