the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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