it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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