I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
