considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
