i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
