I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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