you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
