Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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