She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize