47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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