Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
