Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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