what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
