Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
