do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Randomize
