Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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