Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
