I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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